This is Part 3 of Alex’s Story.
Well, that’s what happened in the last week of July 2019. Remember when I told you I met a new friend Rachel around mother’s day? Well, late July totally out of the blue I received a message from Rachel. Her message said she had been praying for me because I had been on her heart.
Then, later that week I received another message from a friend asking if we were still interested in adopting.
I was like yeah of course, with the right situation and money, Kyle and I would be open to it. Then she tells me that a friend of hers who has adopted previously. The birth mom for her son was pregnant again and was looking to put the baby up for adoption again. So my friend gave me the number to her friend so we could connect. I decided to message her and see where it goes. We scheduled a meeting to meet with her Friday. We wanted to chat about what the process would look like legally.
Friday morning, I receive another message from yet another friend. Her message to me said that
It was just another “God moment” this week. God knew I need this moment before going to the adopting meeting later that evening.
Friday evening Kyle was uneasy and really didn’t want to go to the meeting. I told him that if for no other reason, this will be great for learning about the domestic adoption process. He agreed and we go and meet with this family, who we know absolutely nothing about.
At the meeting, they wanted to hear our story, so we told them, and her medical story was almost identical to mine.
Then, she proceeds to tell us about the potential birth mom. The birth mom lives in Florida, which was perfect to us since my family is there and I was familiar with the area. She told us that the birth mom is in a small town called “Bradenton”
In that exact moment I got immediate chills. My grandparents use to live in Bradenton, and I have been vacationing there since I was 9 months old. I was in shock and truly felt this was it, I was going to be a mother.
They told us the adoption would cost around $39K. The cost was obviously a shock as it would be for anyone. But I knew this was my baby. 5 hours later we headed home. The car ride was silent. I finally looked at Kyle and said, “what do you think?”. His answer shocked me.
Kyle is not a huge risk taker. He is levelheaded. He likes to take time and make a plan. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and says, “Let’s do it!” I was elated and we both started to cry. He said, “God will provide, and we will figure this out.” I want this baby too.
We didn’t have much time; the baby was due in November. We immediately posted on Facebook and started fundraising. We also created an adoption profile for the adoption agency. The adoption profile contained everything about Kyle and I and our values. We were hoping and praying that the birth mom would choose us. The birth mom knew we lived near the first child she gave up.
3 weeks after making the decision to adopt we received word that we were chosen by the birth mom.
Words cannot express how excited we were. But we were also nervous, now that we had been chosen our first payment was due. We had already thrown multiple fundraisers ranging from the puzzle fundraisers, garage sales and a Chick-fil-a fundraiser. By this point we had only raised about $10K. We were still short of our first payment. In the end, my amazing parents helped us cover the amount we were short. We continued to fundraise so that we would have the $39K before the baby was born.
As we got closer to the baby’s birth we continued to pray even harder. In addition to the adoption fee, we know we would need to stay in Florida at least 2 weeks after the birth. That’s how long it would take for the paperwork to clear. We were putting everything we had into paying the adoption fee and knew we needed the extra to be able to stay in Florida.
Are you ready for another God Moment?
So one evening Kyle’s aunt was at bible study and she shared our story. One of the ladies asked where in Florida we were going because her dad knew some people down there. They ended up contacting a local church in Florida,
Can you believe that? How amazing is God?
By this point we knew this was God’s handy work and we were along for the ride.
We had begun corresponding with the birth mom, who was unfortunately incarcerated. This is important to note because the birth plan for a mom who is incarcerated is that she would give birth in the hospital and then spend 48 hours with the newborn before she makes the decision to give the baby up for adoption. We were sad that we would not see her or the baby in those first few hours, but we understood the process.
We had been praying for God to intervene, we really wanted to be with the baby those first few hours after birth.
Well God did intervene, the birth mom was just released from jail which cleared the way for us to be at the hospital for the birth.
The Friday before the scheduled c-section Kyle and I drove down to Florida. We met the birth mom the next day, we got to have lunch and spend that afternoon with her. Saturday evening into Sunday, Kyle & I enjoyed time together. We prayed for safety and guidance for the birth mom and baby.
On Monday I was able to go to an ultrasound and see baby on the screen. It was amazing to see my baby. Tomorrow I would be able to hold him.
We did not get to see him immediately but around 12:05pm, we finally met our baby boy, Archer. We spent the next 48 hours in the hospital room with birth mom taking care of Archie and his birth mom. We were there for the first bath, we did skin to skin, changed diapers, feedings, etc.
Thursday morning came and it was time to say goodbye and leave the hospital. The Birth mom was already struggling with giving her second baby away. You could see and feel that she was anxious and ready to just leave.
Kyle and I started to worry that she would change her mind.
It had been such an emotional 48 hours and we were not sure how she was feeling.
While we were overjoyed to finally have our miracle baby, our hearts were also heavy knowing another mom was losing hers.
There are no words that can express the emotions of that moment.
The adoption agency arrived Around 11:30am. Kyle and I were sent out of the room so that the birth mom could officially sign over her rights. While we waited in the waiting room, we bawled our eyes out over the impending thought that the birth mom would change her mind. After what felt like an eternity (actually about 20 minutes), we were asked to come back into the room. We walk into the room and birth mom was crying and quickly packing. Our heart went out to her. We knew what a difficult moment this was for her.
We know how much she loves him and we are so grateful to her for her sacrifice. We continue to tell Archie how much his birth mom loves him. Just like we promised her in that hospital room.
After she left, we finished signing the paperwork and paid our remainder of adoption fees.
My parents had flown down to Florida to help us and while we were together in the hotel room enjoying time with Archie, my dad received another God moment. A random number had called, and it turned out to be his insurance company stating a mistake was made on a claim from 2 years prior. With tears in his eyes, my dad told us the insurance company was depositing almost the exact amount they gave Kyle and I to help with Archies adoption.
I love that we were all there together to witness this God moment as a family.
While we waited for our paperwork to process, we had the opportunity to visit the church that had been praying for us and paid for our air bnb. They were able to meet Archie and we were able to meet so many amazing peopled who helped us even though we had never met.
My Motherhood story was an absolute whirlwind. With lots of ups and downs, but one thing I know is true is
You will never be able to convince me otherwise because every day I get to hold the fruit of that promise tight in my arms.
**All images are Alex’s personal family photos that I did not photograph. Several images were photographed by Hannah Bergman photography
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